Intro – A Phone Call
[2017]My phone started buzzing. I didn’t recognize the number, and usually I just silence calls like that, but something inside me told me to answer it. “Hello?” I said.
“Is this Mark Tiderman?” the woman on the other end of the phone asked in a rush.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Ok, well, you probably don’t remember me, but I just saw your name in lights, and I think the Lord wanted me to call you.”
Part 1 – Hope In A Vision
[10 years earlier]Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. – Proverbs 13:12
I had been following the Lord for five years. I had gone back to school for ministry, married my beautiful bride, Michelle, and was living in Mexico City as a missionary. I was 25 and ready to make a big impact for the King and his kingdom. We were expecting our first child and praying for guidance on what the Lord had in store for us.
I didn’t care what we did as long as we made a big impact. We felt God calling us back to Ohio to start a business that would fund and fuel the kingdom. I sat down with God that day, and we made an agreement (or so I thought) that we would go back to Ohio, be faithful to building this new venture he was calling us to, and then something big would happen at the 5-year mark. I didn’t care what it was; I just wanted to make an impact. Maybe we would impact the world through our business or be wildly successful with lots of resources to give away, never having to raise support again. Or maybe this would be a quick detour, and then we could get back “on the mission field.” I was open to whatever he had as long as it was “impactful.”
God had given me a vision, and it felt clear, like someone giving me directions to a gas station. Take the 41st exit, turn right, go past the intersection, and you’ll find the Shell station up on your right.
The next few years were hard but good. I was learning how to partner with God in the day-to-day of building a business and growing our household but the progress was slower than I had hoped for and the amount of impact I was having was uncertain. The 5-year mark was fast approaching and I sensed a growing unrest in my soul. My expectations, my metrics of what success was supposed to look like, were not being met. I couldn’t see the impact I had hoped for and I started to feel a little heart sick.
Part 2 – Life Gets Hard
I turned 30, and things got hard. Really hard. My dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer and died ten months later. My mother-in-law died from the same cancer two years later. Our family was in turmoil, the business stalled, sales stopped coming in and money was tight. I became depressed and anxious. I started comparing myself to other people in business and ministry, and even worse, I started comparing myself to where I thought I should be. Why was this all happening? What did I do wrong?
This five-year plan was so clear in my mind, just like the Shell station had been. But I couldn’t find it. Had I already passed it or was it still up ahead? Had I taken the wrong exit? Or maybe I went in the wrong direction. Regardless, I couldn’t tell if the thing I was seeking was in front of me and I needed to keep going or if it was behind me and I needed to turn around.
In my mind, someone had to be blamed for this lack of impact. I went through my list. If only I had a business partner. If only I had a better team. If only my dad hadn’t died. If only my wife had been more involved in the business. If only my kids didn’t require so much from me. Maybe it was God’s fault. I did what He asked me to do and it didn’t feel like He was living up to His side of the bargain. I still believed the promises of God were true. I just no longer believed they were true for me.
In looking for someone to blame, I began to resent everyone and pointed the finger everywhere. But I knew all my accusations fell short, except for one. I was the reason the plan didn’t work. If only I had focused more. If only I were better with money or better at processing my emotions. I reached a point where I could no longer handle the emotions of hope deferred and my heart was sick. So I shut off. I shut off to God. Shut out my wife, my kids, and my community. Depression set in, along with anger, self-hatred, and suicidal thoughts. I had lost my faith, and I almost lost my marriage.
But the Lord hadn’t lost me. The night was dark, but His mercies would still dawn. Contrary to what I thought, this did not catch God by surprise. He was right on time. Still weaving a story together with pieces and timing that were beyond my understanding.
Isaiah 55:8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Kingdom impact was a noble pursuit, but I placed it above being faithful to God in the season I was in. I had it in the wrong order, and it became an idol. I cared more about the impact than about God himself. Without knowing it, I had made “impact” an idol to which I gave worship and from which I gained my worth. And that is a mistake far too many entrepreneurs and driven followers of Christ make.
Part 3 – Healing
The story wasn’t over. The Lord never stopped pursuing me. He promised that a bruised reed he would not break, and he kept that promise with me. Also, my beautiful wife never gave up. She prayed for me, served me, and never allowed the darkness that had embittered my soul to overcome our marriage or her faith in the promises of God.
The next few years were a season of healing, with the Lord revealing himself to me through prayer, journaling, counseling, and his word. He was fathering me, teaching me the ways of his kingdom, what it meant to be his son, and how to walk according to his timing.
Then I received a phone call.
[2017]
“Is this Mark Tiderman?” the woman on the other end of the phone asked in a rush.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Ok, well, you probably don’t remember me, but I just saw your name in lights, and I think The Lord wanted me to call you.”
“Uh…ok?” I responded, a little confused.
“I just listened to a sermon about the sons of Issachar and how they understood the times. And then I saw your name in lights on the ride home. I think God wants to get your attention, Mark.”
“Wow. Ok. Um, thanks,” I replied. “Wait, what do you mean in lights?”
“Well, it was up in the stars. Like lights in the sky. It was kind of weird. But I think it’s all connected. Pray about it. Ok, gotta go.”
“Ok, bye,” I replied as I hung up the phone.
Part 4 – The Kairos Effect
A few months later, I found myself in a classroom in Thailand, learning from Mats Tunehag, David Skews, and Ray Barreth on how to build a business that truly partners with God. They gave me language and structure for all the organic lessons the Lord was teaching me. And they opened up the scriptures and taught me about time, specifically the difference between Chronos and Kairos.
Chronos is the Greek word for time as it is measured, quantified or exact. It keeps order, moving forward like that of a clock. This is what we usually think of when we think of time. This is what I was expecting with the five-year agreement I made with God. It is used 53 times in the Bible.
Kairos is different. Kairos is the Greek word for “right time, opportune moment, season, or harvest time.” Kairos is when God says, “The time has come,“ like in Mark 1:15, “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” It is used 84 times in the Bible.
Then I learned about the sons of Issachar, who understood the times. The reference was from 1st Chronicles 12:32. It was referring to people who were different because they understood the difference between Kairos and Chronos. The Lord had my attention now.
With Kairos, God’s timing is different. Often slower and faster than we expect. “With the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” 2nd Peter 3:8
God was showing me that I must stay faithful in the Chronos, and He will be faithful in the Kairos.
The Bamboo Tree
An example of walking in the tension between the Chronos and the Kairos can be found in the bamboo tree. When a bamboo tree is planted, it doesn’t produce fruit right away. In fact, it doesn’t even break through the ground or show any visible growth for years. It takes five years of watering, resources, and faithful stewardship for it to show the first visible signs of growth. And then, when the breakthrough happens, it grows 90 feet tall in five weeks.
So the question is, how long did it take to grow? Five weeks or five years? We know the answer, but it is tempting to believe that the tree is only growing during periods of visible growth. I think the kingdom of God is like a bamboo tree, and you and I are like the gardener.
Every time you are faithful in your work, your investments, your projects, in leading your team, and your family, every prayer you pray is you being faithful in the Chronos. You can know that growth is happening, even if the fruit isn’t visible yet. As you continue to tend to the plant still growing underground, you may feel discouraged and alone. You may hear the lies of the enemy that try to convince you that your work doesn’t matter or isn’t impactful. Your heart may begin to feel sick from the hope deferred and you may feel tempted to give up. But we can remember to hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
There is a gap between our Chronos and God’s Kairos. We must be faithful in the Chronos, trust God to be faithful in the Kairos, and not allow the gap between them to make our hearts sick.
I wish I could say that depression, anxiety, and the idol of impact no longer affect me, but that is not true. It is a continual battle and I must remind myself often of the Kairos effect. Last year I bought a desk made of bamboo to be a daily reminder to me that I must live in the tension of the Chronos and the Kairos.
James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, teaches this concept another way saying that there is a latency between the work we put in and the fruit we can see from our labor. He calls it the valley of disappointment. This valley is where I almost lost my faith and it has the potential to take out many entrepreneurs. We must hold the line of faith through the valley of disappointment together.
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Part 5 – The Meaning of a Name
[2019]Two years after receiving the prophetic word of the Sons of Issachar and learning about the Kairos effect, I was at a conference in Bucharest and found myself in line with a man from Sweden. I knew my last name, Tiderman, was Swedish but I didn’t know much else about it. So I asked the gentleman behind me if he could translate my name. He took a look at my nametag, then said,
“Tider-man, man of the tides, son of the tides, son of the times”.
In that moment I simultaneously felt chills at how this lined up with the words I heard spoken years before along with the warmth of a father’s embrace as he reminded me that I was right on time.
[2023]My story continues and so does yours. Today he has given me a passion for helping other entrepreneurs and leaders on their journeys by sharing my failures and the lessons I have learned through coaching and catalyzing others in the Chronos.
I am no longer playing the 5-year game. I am now playing the 100-year game. Or better yet, I’m playing the 100-year game with the Kairos effect. Let’s be faithful in the Chronos and invite God to be faithful in the Kairos. Come, Lord Jesus.
